What is mindfulness, really?
What is mindfulness, really?
Is anybody else sick of hearing that word?
You’d think I’d be a little more into it, considering much of my practice revolves around it. Counselling, reiki, yoga… all prime mindfulness forums. But it feels misleading to me, and it’s now a way overused buzzword, in my opinion. It’s meant to be a tool to help us feel more “present” and “grounded” but those are difficult states to achieve if you’re annoyed by the very word that’s meant to guide you.
See, when I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I don’t want to feel more present in my discomfort, or more anchored to the ground. I want to feel free and removed from the source of my worries. I want to escape from my mind, not immerse myself deeper into the place where all the worries live. I know that’s not very counsellor-y, but that’s how I feel sometimes. I’m supposed to be mindful now? My mind is already too full!
However, being mindful is about taking the time to care for yourself, even just for a moment. It’s about becoming aware of what your mind is doing so that you may gain some control over your thoughts, and therefore your feelings. Because after all, our emotions are a response to the things we think, and we can choose what we think about. It’s not easy; it takes practice. But you may have been practicing letting your thoughts do the driving, so now let’s think about practicing holding the reins and taking control of our thoughts.
The first step of mindfulness is awareness. Not awareness of the problem, but awareness of the thoughts of the problem. What’s the difference?
Awareness of the problem leads to more thinking about the problem as we search for (sometimes) elusive solutions while feeling frayed and fragile from worry.
Awareness of the thoughts about the problem is taking a mental step back and recognising what you’re thinking about: the problem.
Then we move into awareness of our bodies to see where we’re holding our tension; what part of us is experiencing physical discomfort from the stress of the thoughts? We’re not trying to fix anything or redirect anything yet, just noticing without judgement. How am I breathing? Am I taking calm, deep inhales, or are my breaths quick and shallow? Are my shoulders stiff? Do I even feel like I’m getting enough air? Where are my feet? Both firmly planted on the ground, and where on my feet am I placing my weight? What are my hands doing? Am I holding anything; am I fidgeting?
Not judging, just noticing.
Next comes checking in with our emotions. When we do this, we try to stay with just the feeling, veering away from the source of the feeling because we know at this point that the source is our thoughts, not the problem at hand. In this moment, we can’t change the problem, but we can become aware of how it’s affecting our emotions.
Once we’re aware of our thoughts and our bodies, then the work of redirection of thoughts begins. We’ll practice that in future posts. For now, remember: you may never feel like you actually reach the goal. But like I say to my yoga class participants, it’s called a “practice” for a reason. The goal is always further growth. There is always a level up, which, once you’ve learned the basics of the practice, becomes a welcome new aspiration.
